On Love | March 2010

FMBR Editorial: March, 2010

On Love

Yevgeniy Gorodetskiy

An opinion on a complicated topic

To begin this is a complicated topic but one which all of us by some gift of nature are able to feel at one point or another and can attempt to share our thoughts and experiences on the subject with others. What follows is only an opinion; one that may change tomorrow and is expressed hoping that it may turn into a two way conversation on the subject:

In our usual lives the word “love” is used in different ways and in its best usage describes something warm and heart related usually felt in the chest area and spreading all around. Yet our love for our dog is different from our children, which is still different from love for our partners. Some like to think that it is possible to “make love.” And even though their attempts at creating squeaky sounds may be encouraging what is actually being “made” may be something else. But in terms of feelings there are many which are heart-related and together they may form our overall idea of the meaning of this term.

For some of our poets, the word “love” is something felt towards another person usually of the opposite sex and maybe right now that category would be the most interesting for us to look at.

And so, we can talk about love in a romantic sense, which may be best described as a state not just a feeling. It may just happen towards another person, whose qualities begin to be perceived as perfect. The state itself may be quite overwhelming and be accompanied by feelings of intense joy and foolishness, and also irrational actions.

At times it may even feel like being a fountain where something seems to be bursting out. And a person may be fully content with just being there in the moment wanting nothing else. And another part of them can be so afraid of not feeling this way again. And as hard as we may try to resist we will do anything to try to hold on to this feeling and the one who brought it into our lives. We may feel powerless not to. And because this “one” is another person there is a possibility for us to succeed. But if we do, the state may fade.

At times it may even feel like being a fountain where something seems to be bursting out. And a person may be fully content with just being there in the moment wanting nothing else. And another part of them can be so afraid of not feeling this way again. And as hard as we may try to resist we will do anything to try to hold on to this feeling and the one who brought it into our lives. We may feel powerless not to. And because this “one” is another person there is a possibility for us to succeed. But if we do, the state may fade.

At times it may even feel like being a fountain where something seems to be bursting out. And a person may be fully content with just being there in the moment wanting nothing else. And another part of them can be so afraid of not feeling this way again. And as hard as we may try to resist we will do anything to try to hold on to this feeling and the one who brought it into our lives. We may feel powerless not to. And because this “one” is another person there is a possibility for us to succeed. But if we do, the state may fade.

Unattainable love can keep us from being in the moment

But what if, the above situation is altered so that the person who is the cause of this state is somehow virtually unattainable. In this case, perhaps thoughts of holding on to this person may not enter our minds and the state could keep lasting indefinitely. Although given that the cause is again another person, we, somehow, someway will look for a way out of this “virtually unattainable” situation and if we succeed the situation would be brought back to the original "attainable" form. This in turn may lead to the state itself not lasting as long as we would like. That may be true for many cases. If it is not, you are an interesting exception.

And so until we are able to truly stay in the moment and resist our urges to grab on to our sensations as pleasant as they may be, we may be limited in our experiences of the described state, this being until we learn what we are all here to learn.

And each moment of such a state is a gift; when it comes all that we can do is be open,

Try to conquer our inner conceit, maybe then it can visit more often.

Yevgeniy Gorodetskiy, President, FMBR

* Many ideas presented here are a result of studies at the Institute of Biosensory Psychology, St. Petersburg, Russia founded and lead by Vladimir Viktorovich Tonkov.